Long forgotten. The quiet sounds of distance brings a light to shadows. Illumination to reality. All the eyes I trust have turned away. Abandonment confirmed and I'm here to stay. Gone in my disorder, I still don't understand how I'm not dead yet. The Draper ice still fresh. Now sober eyes, just off the meds. A warm welcome back...once pristine shores now painted black. Still gone. Is this where I truly belong? Track mark like scars still wet. Blood of past year's battles getting to my head. A sick reminder of the things I will never forget. Souls I once knew have fled. To this strange new place, it seems I'm already dead. Do I cable tow or submit to open war? New demons have materialized. War, I've traded war for war. Call forth the conflict, a fall that declares revenge. Kill the lights, erase three years from my life. Post third attempt, demonic brush with death. The final realization. A calling out, sincerest in nature. What fear has suppressed, I've converted to apathy. This is true self-induced amnesia. This is the Draper ice washing away.